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Saturday, October 31, 2015

Update on dad



My dog is very protective of my father. Right now she's lying at the foot of his bed, keeping watch. Dad's dying of stage 4 bladder cancer. He was not a good candidate for chemo. A surgeon had given him a 50/50 chance of dying on the table. Dad felt aggressive treatment wasn't worth it. He's been on home hospice ever since he got out of the hospital.

I haven't written much about it on my blog. Until a few weeks ago he was still reading it. Now his vision and hand coordination aren't up to using a computer. Over time the hospice doctor has been increasing dad's pain meds as the condition worsens.

Today hospice is going to send over an aid to help wash and shave him. When he first got back from the hospital he had me install 4 grab rails and a chair in his shower so he could take care of himself. That no longer works.

He has good spells, but they aren't as good as the ones before. The bad spells are worse. We all know where this is going.

I've been fortunate to be able to come down to Florida to be with him. My lovely wife and I are doing what we can. If dad has a regret it's not being able to be there for his wife. He remarried just a little over a year ago. Back then he wasn't feeling sick at all and didn't know there was a lurking medical issue. Last January and February I was helping him replace floors in his house. He was slowing down, but you expect that at 79. He only knew about the cancer in August, but by then it was too late.

I don't need anyone's sympathy. Dad had a good life and is a good man. I'm lucky to have been raised by him.

-Sixbears

26 comments:

  1. It tough watching your father become a shadow of the man he once was. Hugs!

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  2. Father-in-law passed away 10 years ago. He was a better father to me than my own. While I still get tears in my eyes thinking how much I miss him I usually always end up smiling about how he looked at life or some of his sayings. Husband recently came to me with tears in his eyes because he had just cut into a piece of formica that had come out of his parents house when his mom had moved last year. Said the smell of cutting into that board brought back very vivid memories of working with his dad. Thats what they call bitter sweet. My father-in-law was a good man. I'm so glad I got to have him in my life even for a short 20 years. Glad you, your wife and puppy can be there for your dad and his wife.

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    1. You are lucky to have had such a good father-in-law for the time you did.

      If we weren't here I'm guessing he'd be in a hospital instead of at home.

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  3. All you can do is be there for him. The things you want to say to him but can't, He knows already because your there.

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    1. We said everything we had to say. As much as it hurts, I'm glad to be here for him.

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  4. It's a hard time for everyone, I'm sure. You are doing a good job of handling it.

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    1. Not my first time having to do this sort of thing, but it doesn't get much easier.

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  5. All the best to you and yer dad.

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  6. All the best to you and yer dad.

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  7. Please don't be offended by sympathy, unless it's overplayed, it just means that people care. However, it IS good that you can concentrate on the positive. I'll be praying that the Lord helps everything go smoothly at this time of change.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Gorges.

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  8. So sorry for what you and your Dad are going through. Hope all goes as smoothly as possible for all involved.

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    1. It's been a trip, especially lately. Thanks Dizzy.

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  9. God Bless you and your Dad, you are a good son. Seventy nine is a pretty good span of years. Mom will be 78 in about 20 days and she's plugging along fine.

    Something (or someone) will take our life eventually. I just wish Cancer wasn't so doggone painful. Life is hard enough as it is.

    Wish I had the words to fix but I don't. Godspeed.

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    1. He turned 80 recently. Glad your mom's doing well. Cancer got mine some years ago.

      As the hospice nurse said: Cancer sucks.

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  10. You just being there means everything. Spend as much time as you can with him. He already knows you love him. Remember with him the good times. God bless you and your Dad through this time.

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  11. He and the Mrs. are lucky to have you, Cindy and Brownie there. He's a good man (guess that's where you get it). Just know for many of us back home, you're all in our thoughts

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  12. Big hugs to you, and Godspeed to your dad.
    Like father, like son ...

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  13. I have been there 3 times, first wife, mother and father. I have come to believe its a blessing to be there for others when the time comes. Still, its so hard seeing the ones you have loved so much pass. Prayers for you all.

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