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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Marriage, family, and adventure



Okay, it's weird. I keep reading all this advice about putting off marriage because then you life is over or something. As if you wife won't want to do anything but be a Susie Homemaker. However, if that's really what she wants, and you want some adventure, you married the wrong woman.

If marriage doesn't kill your dreams of adventure, having kids surly will . . . or so they say.

Maybe I thought that myself, until I got married at 20 years old. I expected to be the last of my friends to get married but was the first. When the right woman comes along, marry her. Don't let anything get in your way, especially some notion that your life of adventure will be over.

Having kids did change the adventures a bit. You are responsible for the little ones. Maybe that means you shorten your canoe trip and bring a few more creature comforts. Four day hikes in the mountains turn into overnights or day trips. When they got a bit older we even did things like winter camping in the mountains of Western Maine.

Money is an issue. Kids are expensive. Then again, I'm not sure where my money went when I was single. I've discovered plenty of adventurous things that can be done for little money. When the kids were small a friend of mine gave me an Old Town canoe that someone had botched a fiberglass recovering job. I stripped off the old glass, changed some planking, and repaired it. Then we had a canoe for exploring lakes and rivers.

Later on I built a 20 foot stripper canoe. The cedar came from my land and I borrowed tools from friends and family. The large canoe fit a family of five, and all our camping gear including a 10 X 20 foot canvas wall tent. Eventually the kids were paddling boats of their own.

What about heading out on adventures without your wife and kids? If you married the right person, you still do those things now and then. The flip side is that some days you watch the kids alone while your significant other is out doing something she likes.

Maybe I might have done something grander if I didn't marry and have a family, like climb Mt. Denali or something. On the other hand my lovely wife introduced me to things I'd never have experienced on my own. A few times she saved me from adventures that were just plain dumb, so there's that.

People have this image that when they get married they settle down in some suburban house with a white picket fence. I've met families living on the road in an RV and others sailing the seas. Home schooling makes all the difference. What could be more educational than travel and adventure?

Do it for the children. Don't they deserve to grow up seeing and experiencing all the world has to offer?

-Sixbears




9 comments:

  1. Most guys marry their girlfriends, who they've chosen for entirely different reasons than they would use for choosing a wife. Then they wonder why they don't make the wife they wanted.

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    1. Choosing the right spouse has the biggest influence on how happy we'll be, yet we aren't properly trained on how to pick 'em.

      . . . of course, doesn't hurt if they're hot. :)

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  2. Met Hubby when I was 18, married him at 20 and had two kids by the time I was 23, Should I have done things a little bit differently - sure, but I'm glad I chose the path I did.
    Next year will be our 50th anniversary.

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    1. Congratulations! You guys must be doing something right.

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  3. Marrying really young can prove disasterous to some cause they marry with their hormonses..Many who wait choose someone who is a friend and a nice person all the way around! We only have one child she has lived all over the world and resides in NYC and comes back to near our area many times with her job..we see her a lot..She could never live in a tiny town as she calls our area, she needs to be able to buy a donut or coffee at 2 am while she is doing her film work..taxi anywhere and go to movie stuff she has organized, won't be happening here at all..She does want to settle down up in a seattle burb she adores, saves every dime she can and wants to get two homes one right next to the other and adopt possibly and have a full life with her parents right next door and watch out for us, sounds great to us but we worry she doesn't mind being by herself, most men she meets are not too bright and she is and she is pretty careful about the money she makes so the single life is for her, we only care if she is happy and that we can see and be around her, that is our desires..One will NEVER HAVE HEAVEN ON EARTH IT IS MOSTLY LIKE THE HELL OF MANY OLD AUTHORS why not be happy in the here and now with the love of family...ciao

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    1. Getting married young is usually a bad idea, but it worked for us.

      You are lucky to have such a fine daughter.

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  4. "When the right woman comes along, marry her. Don't let anything get in your way" You got that right brother. And there is something wrong when a guy shacks for 6 years and doesn't look to take her off the market. I am 25 yrs. in and I knew the very first time that I saw her that she was it. I wasn't giving anyone else the chance.

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    1. I always believed in going "all in" with anything important. Let some other dude regret the one who got away.

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  5. I appreciate the adventures we had growing up. Builds character.

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