So far outside the box you can't even see the box from here.
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Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Marriage, family, and adventure
Okay, it's weird. I keep reading all this advice about putting off marriage because then you life is over or something. As if you wife won't want to do anything but be a Susie Homemaker. However, if that's really what she wants, and you want some adventure, you married the wrong woman.
If marriage doesn't kill your dreams of adventure, having kids surly will . . . or so they say.
Maybe I thought that myself, until I got married at 20 years old. I expected to be the last of my friends to get married but was the first. When the right woman comes along, marry her. Don't let anything get in your way, especially some notion that your life of adventure will be over.
Having kids did change the adventures a bit. You are responsible for the little ones. Maybe that means you shorten your canoe trip and bring a few more creature comforts. Four day hikes in the mountains turn into overnights or day trips. When they got a bit older we even did things like winter camping in the mountains of Western Maine.
Money is an issue. Kids are expensive. Then again, I'm not sure where my money went when I was single. I've discovered plenty of adventurous things that can be done for little money. When the kids were small a friend of mine gave me an Old Town canoe that someone had botched a fiberglass recovering job. I stripped off the old glass, changed some planking, and repaired it. Then we had a canoe for exploring lakes and rivers.
Later on I built a 20 foot stripper canoe. The cedar came from my land and I borrowed tools from friends and family. The large canoe fit a family of five, and all our camping gear including a 10 X 20 foot canvas wall tent. Eventually the kids were paddling boats of their own.
What about heading out on adventures without your wife and kids? If you married the right person, you still do those things now and then. The flip side is that some days you watch the kids alone while your significant other is out doing something she likes.
Maybe I might have done something grander if I didn't marry and have a family, like climb Mt. Denali or something. On the other hand my lovely wife introduced me to things I'd never have experienced on my own. A few times she saved me from adventures that were just plain dumb, so there's that.
People have this image that when they get married they settle down in some suburban house with a white picket fence. I've met families living on the road in an RV and others sailing the seas. Home schooling makes all the difference. What could be more educational than travel and adventure?
Do it for the children. Don't they deserve to grow up seeing and experiencing all the world has to offer?
I live in an area of NH known as the Great North Woods. I'm in my dome-i-cile out in the county with my lovely wife and a varying number of family and friends
-part red neck, part hippie but all country. Experimenting and enjoying the adventure of life.