Doppelganger

It is said that everyone has their double. My dad used to look a lot like a famous professional golf player. Once in a while people would stop him on the street and ask his advice for problems with their golf game. Dad always used to make suggestions, which they took seriously. How my dad kept a straight face I have no idea; dad never played a game of golf in his life.

A less amusing mistaken identity issue my dad had was with his name. Apparently it was quite similar to that of a South American drug lord. It gave him no end of trouble at airports. That is, until the drug lord died in a hail of bullets.

Apparently I've got few doubles of my own. I think I'm pretty unique looking but apparently not totally unique. There was a guy who lived in the same town I did, but I never met him. He looked enough like me that strangers would talk to me like I was this guy. Unfortunately my double like to hang around drinking in pubs all the time. People would tell me my lovely wife that they saw me at the pub. The first time that happened I'd spent the evening at my parents' house, so my spouse did not know what to think. When it happened on nights that I was with her, she then understood what was going on. It was a relief when the guy moved out of town.

A friend of mine who lives downstate says he knows a guy who looks enough like me to be my twin. My buddy said if I ever need an alibi he'll take the guy out for a few drinks in a crowded bar. Then he'll claim I was with him the whole time. That's a good friend for you.

Then there was one time when a guy who looks just like me shot three coworkers after he was fired from his job. That was in the national papers. People looked at that and said, “what's Sixbears doing in the paper?” Only after reading the article did they realize it wasn't me. Nice to know I look like a crazed killer.

Maybe I've got to lose a bunch of weight, shave my head, and dye my beard.

-Sixbears