So far outside the box you can't even see the box from here.
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Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Cutting people some slack
How many people at age 50 have the exact same beliefs and attitudes that they had a 20? Hopefully, 30 years of living caused at least some growth and development.
Do you ever wonder of your younger self would have gotten along with your older self? Would younger you have been appalled? I laugh at some of the things that were important to me back then.
Most of us make peace with ourselves. There's only room for so much regret in a person's life. The best thing is to cut ourselves some slack. We were more ignorant then than were are now. If we are really being honest with ourselves, somewhere down the road older self will be amazed at the stupidity that take for wisdom today.
It's hard enough to forgive ourselves for ignorance and wrong headed beliefs. Cutting other people some slack is even harder. So I try to tell myself that I'm meeting people who are in a different place than I am right now. The present is just a snapshot, a tiny slice of a person's life. The guy who might be a bozo today, might turn out to be an all right fellow a bit further down the road.
For me, that's why solving arguments by killing people is such a waste. Years from now, your enemy might have become your friend. His wrong headed beliefs might change. Besides, maybe you are the one with wrong headed beliefs. A little humility, a willingness to accept the possibility, goes a long long way.
I live in an area of NH known as the Great North Woods. I'm in my dome-i-cile out in the county with my lovely wife and a varying number of family and friends
-part red neck, part hippie but all country. Experimenting and enjoying the adventure of life.