Friday, July 13, 2012

Random things

Did you ever avoid talking to someone because you knew they’d be a bit saner later?

I don’t watch certain movies or read certain books. They stir up my demons and give me nightmares. I function much better without nightmares. Does that make me like a sober alcoholic? I’m not cured, but I’m functional.

Door to door religion. A friend of mine had the best experience ever with door to door religion salesmen. There was a knock on the back door from a religion salesmen. He let him into the his living room. Just then then there was a knock from the front door. It was another religion salesman selling a different brand. This person was also invited into the living room. Soon both salesmen were arguing with each other. My friend quietly left the room and they didn’t notice.

Why is it we are never taught the stuff we want to know in school? How to chose a good life partner. How to be a thoughtful and excellent lover. How to shoot. How to detect BS . . . Okay, I know that one. If we taught how to detect BS, school would lose its power over us.

Intelligent people make their own rules. They also do outrageous blunders that a dumb person woudn’t even know how to try.

Just following orders wasn’t an excuse for the Germans in WWII. It isn’t an excuse for anyone today either.

Policy is something that makes smart people do dumb things.

Sunrise is overrated. Give me a sunset instead.

It’s a common observation that most grownups feel like kids who are faking being grown up. However, some are actually grown up and not faking it at all.

You can be a man, a violent man, and not hurt anyone.

Is there anything done in an office cubicle that couldn’t be done better somewhere else?

What’s the difference between office cubicles and rat mazes? Rats have some hope of getting the cheese. The office has no prize and no way out.

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man how to steal fish . . .

I had a very short career as a substitute teacher. I was told I had to teach the kids life skills. They gave me a room full of losers and troublemakers. I taught them how to bypass locks. Figured it be useful for the life they were heading towards.

Someone once asked me why barns in New England often have little steeples on top of them like churches. I said it’s because both barns and churches have been known to house cattle.

Retirement is wasted on the old.
Why are encouraged to be like busy bees? What’s a bee’s life like anyway? Work work work and someone else gets the honey.

The rich hate happy poor people.

Why don’t we all just point and laugh at politicians. They take themselves so seriously. Let’s hit ‘em where it hurts.

The slow runners are the ones in court.

Teach your kids how to cook, both girls and boys. A person who can’t cook is someone without basic skills, like not knowing how to blow your own nose or wipe your own butt. Gotta know how to feed your own mouth.

There are atheists in foxholes. Deal with it.

In math class we discovered that love wasn’t the answer.

Well, that’s enough drivel for today. Thanks for your patience.