Foil hat rumor that I hope is true

For years there has been rumors that there are massive secret underground cities where the rich and the government types will go to escape disaster. Thoughts vary about the disaster’s cause: plague, flood, fire, comets, alien invasion, atomic war, civil unrest, crab grass -pick one, I don’t care which.

Of course, the rumors are fueled by the fact that there really are underground facilities for government types and the rich have hide outs of their own. The foil hats believe the installations are more numerous and much bigger than what we can confirm though normal channels.

I really hope the foil hats are right. Picture this: some disaster suddenly looms on the near horizon. Poof, all the politicians, big wig military people, billionaires, celebrities, and corporate CEOs disappear down some holes in the ground.

Most of us will survive the disaster, whatever it is. People are tough. In fact, once all the “ruling class” disappears, all us little guys will finally have a chance to band together and get things done. Our politics, social status, and religions won’t matter as much with all our asshat leaders no longer stirring up trouble.

After the disaster has passed, we’ll have to hurry to make sure the doors on those underground bases stay shut. Imagine what sort of a living hell it will be down there -a society made of nothing but the greediest, most deluded, and most evil people. The smell will be horrible. Those doors must stay closed.

Now if there really isn’t a major world shattering disaster coming down the pike, we’d better find a way to fake one -for the good of society.

-Sixbears