Saturday, December 10, 2016

Who's got your back?

You never know who has your back and who'll stab you in the back until push comes to shove. It's true that everyone is your friend when you are riding high. When the going gets tough is the time you discover who your true friends are.

I know from first hand experience. When I got hurt on the job as a firefighter it was a four year struggle to get my benefits. When you sign up they promise to take care of you if something goes wrong, but they sure don't deliver. That's no surprise to all the injured and disabled military veterans out there.

Over the course of four years our financial situation became increasingly desperate. Being somewhat prepared helped. Most folks think having supplies for a year is enough. It helps, but by year three of a crisis those are long gone. Fortunately, my disaster was something that only affected my family. It's not as if the rest of the world was going through a crisis.

Even though other people weren't hurting, many avoided us like the plague. Apparently poverty is toxic and must be avoided. Some people we thought would be there for us were not. Now some actually were in worse shape themselves than anybody knew. They were hiding their problems successfully. While they might have wanted to help, in reality they had little to spare. Others just cut us out of their lives.

Then there were people who we never expected anything from who stepped up and helped when it was really needed. There were friends who lived far away who came though in amazing ways. Sometimes what we really needed was to know we weren't alone because there were times we sure felt that way.

It was a real eye opening experience. They say what does not kill you makes you stronger. Maybe, but then why is there PTSD? Sometimes what does not kill you wounds you for life. There are things we never were able to do for our children and that hurt.

Now many of you may be going through tough times or will in the near future. Don't be too discouraged when some people you counted on aren't there. You aren't responsible for their actions. Be open to the good things that come your way from unexpected directions. Some little thing you once did for someone might have stuck with them and they really come through for you years later.

There's a saying that bread cast upon the waters comes back to you. Your good deeds really do come back to you. You are doing good deeds, right?



  1. Been through some of that and couldn't agree more.

  2. for fellow veterans

    take your form 214 and ID to a major VA admissions office and sit there till you get your VA ID

    filing by paper form by letter might just get filed in a trash bin because they don't give a shit....

    until they are caught at it, ho, ho, ho


    true friends help you so you can help them or others later

    1. I find I almost always do better if I can sit down in an office and wait them out. Of course, it helps to be too big to throw out.

  3. I've also been through some of that and agree.
    Yes, I am doing good deeds too, I get so busy I don't take care of my own stuff sometimes.

    It's getting to the point that between work and helping other people I am flat wrung out. I'm seriously considering taking a week off and shutting my phone off for the whole week.

    1. You can't be the only one giving. That doesn't work out too well either.