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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dump Nazi



I used to enjoy trips to the dump. For a guy like me who often makes something good out of someone else’s trash, it was a fun place. Now it’s a “transfer station” and no fun at all. They don’t even allow picking. That was 3/4 the fun of taking a load to the dump.

The last few weeks I’ve been loading junk into the truck, a little at a time. Finally, I had to admit that it was time to get rid of it all. I tied and it all down and fired up the truck. Then I shut the truck down and hunted around for the darn dump permit. No sense pulling up to the place without a permit.

Could I find the nice crisp permit that’s been in my way for weeks? Of course not. So I fired up the veggie van and drove across town to the town hall. The town clerk met me on the way out. She was locking up the place. Small towns keep haphazard hours so perhaps she was taking an early lunch?

“Did I just miss you,” I said.

“No, I just have to run something over to the post office. I’ll be right back.”

My town is so small that when the clerk steps out, she locks the door behind her. On the bright side, it’s so small that the post office is located right across the street. She was right back and quickly wrote out the necessary permit.

Then it was off to the transfer station. The Dump Nazi guards the gate. People have to park in a designated area until he motions them on to the scale. That’s where he weighs the load and checks the permit.

“What do you have?” he said.

I rattled off a long list of the stuff I could remember.

“Any tires or air conditioners?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

Of course my word is no good for him. He has to poke around my load for a bit. Finally he tells me which piles to unload the different stuff at.

The first thing I unload is a broken dishwasher.

“That doesn’t go here,” said a voice. The Dump Nazi had followed me to the back side of the facility.

“It’s almost all plastic.” I said.

“No matter, there’s some metal on it so it goes into the metal pile.”

Right.

After unloading everything but the metal, I pick up the dishwasher to load it up for the trip across the lot. Until this point I’d kept pretty clean. The dishwasher tipped a bit during the loading process and poured a load of foul water all over my shirt.

Then I unloaded the rest of the stuff at the metal pile. The Dump Nazi watched me the whole time, his eyes scanning the load for contraband trash. On the way out trucks have to go back over the scale where you wait for the guy to finish picking his nose. Eventually he waved me through.

Bureaucracy has ruined the simple joy of going to the dump. Now I’m happy that most stuff gets recycled these days. I never did like waste, but dealing with a miniature Hitler is something I could do without.

-Sixbears

14 comments:

  1. We have that in common, I used to enjoy picking up perfectly good items at the dump. They went to "Transfer Stations" twenty years ago and ruined it. I did notice those no pick rules do not seem to apply to the employees though, they had stuff lined up clear outside.

    I still love going to junk yards though. We have U Pull it's all over where you pay a buck to get in and wander to your hearts delight.

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    Replies
    1. Buddy of mine spots something in the pile, then positions his truck so the guy can't see him pick it.

      No U Pull around here. Sadly.

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  2. Those little guys are everywhere Bro!

    China
    III

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  3. So far in our area we are have filled a couple of land fills to over flowing. Since China is shipping a lot of junk stuff over here as consumer goods, maybe we should ship all our junk and garbage back to them??

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  4. Our local landfill takes trash from some distance away. Sadly, it's located in a really scenic spot with great views. Waste of beautiful piece of property.

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  5. Sixbears,
    When residing in upstate Michigan we loved going to the dump. Not just to find things but to watch the bear go through looking for food. You could get some great bear pictures (as long as you stayed in your vehicle when viewing the bear). I haven't gone to the dump here in Oklahoma yet. I can only imagine the place has Nazi patrol here too.

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    Replies
    1. They seem to be just about everywhere. I used to watch bears at the dump too.

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  6. We have Dump Nazis here too, and to help pay for their inflated union-job salary, you now have to pay for the pound to drop stuff off at the transfer station, in addition to paying for the "permit". Dump Nazi once got on my father-in-law's case for giving a scrounger some scrap metal off the back of his pick-up truck. My redneck Cherokee FIL from South Carolina told the Nazi that it was his still his junk until he threw it in the dumpster, and that he'd give it to whoever he damn well pleased. Ok, maybe he wasn't that polite to the Dump Nazi...

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    Replies
    1. Maybe too many of us have been too polite to Nazis of all stripes. Good for your FIL.

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  7. "Well you're welcome to put it back on the truck" would be my reply to any simple minded dump monkey if I didn't dump my junk right where it thought I should. What's he gonna do? Charge you more than what you weigh in at? Don't you have side arms in them parts??
    Pretty sure it's "agin my religion" to handle junk more than once.

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    Replies
    1. Ban me from the transfer station. That's what they could do. Happened to a friend of mine. Very annoying. Can't shoot all the annoying people.

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  8. surprised they let you keep your truck

    Wildflower

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