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Sunday, April 10, 2016

Disagreeing



I'm usually a pretty mellow guy. I'm willing to let a lot of stuff slide. One thing I learned from my mother was how to disagree without being disagreeable. Of course, she was a master at it and I'm only an amateur.

My mother had the ability to totally disagree with someone and in the end they felt pretty good about it. She'd smile and be polite and stick firmly to her ideas. She was so nice about it that often people would come around to her view. It really was quite something to watch.

Dad, on the other had, got to “no” a lot quicker, but he wasn't nasty about it either. Firm and unmovable, but no yelling and screaming. He was so honest about saying “no” that often people thought he was kidding.

I'm very likely to give someone a full hearing -then do whatever the heck I wanted to do anyway. That works for a lot of things, but one thing it does is make me unfit for most of the working world. I think that's more a reflection on the deficits of the working world than of my personality and attitude. While I've always had a certain amount of that attitude, it has only gotten worse with age. Now I'm nearly impossible.

One thing I have learned is to not treat the lovely wife that way. Better to engage in a little back and forth discussion as that's healthy for the relationship. I may be an ornery son of gun at times, but I do want to have a good relationship with the lovely wife. I make exceptions for those I love.

Authoritarian people and systems really get my goat. These days that's a dangerous attitude to have. Those in charge only want obedience. They love to make laws and rules. A few common sense rules in life only make sense, but that's not what I'm talking about. Those in charge want to bring back the days of the god/kings.

I might be smiling and nodding, but in my mind I'm thinking of ways to toss a monkey wrench into the system.

So . . . if you are someone in authority dealing daily with folks yelling, screaming and acting out, think of all those people with smiling faces . . . and unknowable thoughts. You know, those people you turned your back on because you thought it was safe to do so.

-Sixbears

12 comments:

  1. Nod, smile, walk away and let the plotting begin.
    I've mellowed tremendously over the years.
    I've also been anti authority since birth. Years of practice at bending and outright breaking rules and laws.
    Fook 'em and feed 'em fish heads I say.

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    1. Making the comfortable uncomfortable for decades now.

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  2. "That works for a lot of things, but one thing it does is make me unfit for most of the working world. I think that's more a reflection on the deficits of the working world than of my personality and attitude. While I've always had a certain amount of that attitude, it has only gotten worse with age. Now I'm nearly impossible."

    Could have written that myself.

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  3. My husband of nearly 42 years will bend over backwards to listen to anyone and be pleasant, he never argues or gets mad or anything..When I get mad it is hard for me to contain my temper but I honestly try I don't lash out at my hubs and I try reasoning I cool off and say I am sorry to get so dadblasted mad, it is just my personality..I cannot be mean to the best person in my life and always has been, we discuss everything and I learn what he likes and he knows what I like..We get along, it doesn't hurt he is the oldest of a huge family of kids who in my opinion acted like criminals save 3 of the 8 kids, they are just full of you know what..But he is kind and loving so I respong nicely to them because I don't want to be a yahoo to the best of the whole clan, after his mom passed from this earth in 2000 we never have seen much of any of them, but they do call for money and help all the time, now I can honestly talk and say we are not the bank of America kindly and mean it..Some people like to argue about minuscule things, we think it is better to live and let live..after all it is a short ride on this terrestrial who wants to be a yahoo to others on the ride! Paul McCartney and Paul Simon are coming to a town near us, I read a great article on both of those entertainers, I also noticed the prices for the tickets and their ages, I am totally happy I have all of their albums and got them nearly free worked in a record store because I surely would not pay %250.00 to see Sir Paul or $200 for Rhymin Simon, I love them but not that much. I get a kick out of how you have to pay for music on the apple this and that and the am radio in my time was free! Have a great week...It sounds like you are my kind of people! Ride On and Peace Out!

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    1. How we were raised makes a big difference on how we handle disagreements.

      Then there are those who really enjoy arguing over nothing. I don't play that gave as it tires and annoys me.

      I do like the free music apps like Spotify.

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  4. My way of treating others, too. Except now that I am getting real old, I don't have much patience and open my mouth when I shouldn't. That led to me telling one guy, "go on, hit me and see how long it takes you to get out of jail". So far, so good, but it upsets my wife.

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    1. Good one Dizzy, but you can't go around upsetting the wife. Not if you want a happy life. :O)

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  5. I try walking away when I can, but sometimes it's difficult. For some reason, I've mellowed out a tad since I've gotten older. Plotting more in my head, I guess!

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    1. Are we mellow or are we just tired? :)

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